


Hanging Over

by barbaesparza



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Bedsharing, Crushes, Drunk Barba, Drunk Rafael, Drunk!Rafael, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Fluff, Hangover, In Love Barba, M/M, Misunderstandings, Napping, Oblivious Carisi, Sharing a Bed, Sickfic, Wingwoman Liv, almost, oblivious Barba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 12:45:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14044542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaesparza/pseuds/barbaesparza
Summary: Liv leans her elbows across the table. “Well then go get him, tiger. What’s stopping you?”“Everything,” Rafael grumbles.“Like what?”“One, he doesn’t like me. Two, he’s out of my league. Three, he’s probably in love with Rollins. Four, he might be straight. Five, he doesn’t like me.”Quirking an eyebrow, Liv launches into her rebuttal. “One, you don’t know that. Two, give yourself some credit. Three, I really, really don’t think so. Four, he doesn’t act very straight around you. Five, you’re drunk.”





	Hanging Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Astronaut_Milky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astronaut_Milky/gifts).



> Dear, dear Jaci. Happy birthday for yesterday! I hope you enjoy this... I didn't know bedsharing was your favourite thing when I had this idea, then it _had_ to be yours!
> 
> You deserve everything, I wish you happiness and health, and lots of Woolworths mudcake :D  
> ~  
> Disclaimers:  
> I know nothing about drunkenness and hangovers, please excuse inaccuracies and feel free to educate me.  
> If there's any OOC-ness it can be blamed on drunkenness and hangovers, as well as my aforementioned lack of knowledge on the subject ;D

They’re sitting in a booth at the bar, and it’s clear Rafael’s already more than a little drunk when Liv starts recounting her day.

Rafael nods along, then at the first mention of Carisi, leans his head back with a groan.

“Damn Carisi,” he mutters.

Liv frowns in confusion. Carisi really hadn’t done anything. “You’ve gotta start cutting my detective some slack, Rafa.”

Rafael shakes his head. “You don’t understand,” he says pleadingly. “I luh-huh-ove him.”

Liv raises her eyebrows. So that’s new. And Rafael is way more drunk than she’d originally thought. “Oh? You love him, huh?” she responds, amused.

“Yes,” Rafael says simply.

She fights to contain her grin. “And what do you expect me to do about it?”

“Nothing.” Rafael pouts. “I want him. We should be together. We’d be _sooo_ good together.” He lets out a longing sigh.

Liv leans her elbows across the table. “Well then go get him, tiger. What’s stopping you?”

“Everything,” Rafael grumbles.

“Like what?”

“One, he doesn’t like me. Two, he’s out of my league. Three, he’s probably in love with Rollins. Four, he might be straight. Five, he doesn’t like me.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Liv launches into her rebuttal. “One, you don’t know that. Two, give yourself some credit. Three, I really, really don’t think so. Four, he doesn’t act very straight around you. Five, you’re drunk.”

“I knowww,” Rafael whines. “I also know I don’t have a single reason to do anything about this.”

Liv pats him on the shoulder. “Why don’t you call him?” she encourages. “Maybe not tonight,” she adds as an afterthought.

“What’s the point, Olive?”

“To… talk to h-”

“What’s the point in anything if Sonny will never love me?”

Liv stares at him, mouth gaping. “You never know if you don’t try, Rafael. How about we get you home, and tomorrow you give him a call, maybe ask him for a drink just to hang out?”

Rafael looks exasperated. He’s clearly not going to follow her suggestion.

“Maybe not a drink,” Liv backtracks again. “Maybe coffee.”

Rafael shrugs half-heartedly.

“You’ll probably be able to see from his reaction if he feels the same way,” Liv suggests gently.

“He doesn’t and it isn’t faiiiiiir,” Rafael moans.

“Okay… well, you’re not a mind reader, so…” Liv trails off awkwardly and stands up, making the executive decision to put Rafael on her couch for the night, not trusting him to be able to get up the stairs to his own apartment block by himself.

“Let’s go, Rafael.”

Rafael follows her out without question, stumbling slightly as she hails a cab, the cool night air probably not quite sobering enough.

 

“Tell me about him,” Liv says softly once they’re in the cab.

“Carisi? You know him better than I do.”

“Debatable. But tell me when all this started. You said you’re in love with him, so it must have started a while ago?”

Rafael buries his head into Liv’s shoulder. “I do. I love him so much.”

“When?”

“I dunno. It feels like I’ve always loved him, at this point.”

“You loved him when he first came here?” Liv smirks. “It was the ridiculous mustache that did it, wasn’t it?”

Rafael snorts. “No.” He grins at Liv, showing his amusement at her silliness. “But I had noticed him.”

“Uh huh,” Liv says conspiratorially, “go on…”

“I think- I think. As soon as I knew him, I loved him.”

“So it was mustached Carisi.”

“Come on, ’Livia, it wasn’t all that bad,” Rafael slurs. “But no. I mean, when I started to get to know him.”

Liv is sorely tempted to mention to Carisi the fact that Rafael thinks his mustache wasn’t “all that bad” at the next squad drinks. She stifles a giggle.

“I never took you for the fall fast type.”

“I’m not, I swear,” Rafael denies robustly. “It’s _him.”_

“It’s his fault you fell for him so fast?”

“Okay, no. But…” Rafael sighs loudly. “It’s just not fair.”

“What isn’t?”

“How perfect he is,” Rafael says softly. “I’ve never met anyone like him.”

“Well, I suppose he _is_ pretty special.”

“How is he real.”

Liv blinks. “We’re here, Rafa.” She pays the cab driver and pulls on Rafael’s arm to get him out of the cab. Rafael stumbles again, but stays upright, only leaning on Liv a little bit.

“He’s so amazing,” Rafael continues, apparently not done gushing, and Liv is not going to be the one to stop him because it takes being very drunk for him to ever tell her anything like this. “Like, he’s so kind. He’s such a kind, beautiful man. And he’s so smart. Everywhere he goes, he just, he makes it a better place.” Rafael huffs. “I love him. He’s the best.”

“I know, Raf.”

“And he has the cutest smile. And he makes _me_ smile.” He pouts. “All the time.”

Liv grins, pressing the button for her floor in the elevator.

“How ’bout his eyes, huh?” she encourages.

“Oh God, his eyes. Who the fuck has eyes like that, Liv? They’re so blue, only sometimes they’re like… almost green, and- ugh. They sparkle.”

Liv continues to grin, hands deep in her coat pockets, and when the elevator dings she grabs Rafael by the elbow and leads the way to her apartment.

Rafael still hasn’t questioned why he’s not in his own apartment, but Liv explains anyway.

“Okay, so… you’re welcome to crash on my couch for the night? Unless you want to go back home, in which case I’d suggest sobering up here a little first. Your apartment block doesn’t have an elevator.”

Rafael nods distractedly.

“Liv-”

“Hm?”

“Sometimes he looks at me, and I feel so- I dunno. Funny. Maybe… loved? But I’m probably just imagining things.”

“It’s worth investigating, if you ask me,” Liv says with a twinkly smile.

Rafael smiles uncertainly.

“I’ll grab you a pillow and a blanket.”

“Thanks, Liv.” Rafael sinks onto the couch, kicking off his shoes.

She checks on Noah, fast asleep as he should be, and says goodbye to Lucy, before grabbing the pillow and blanket for Rafael.

When Liv returns, Rafael is fast asleep. She chuckles, laying the blanket on top of him gently and wedging the pillow between his head and the couch.

She tiptoes away to give Noah a kiss before retiring to her own bedroom.

* * *

Rafael notices his splitting headache before he even blinks his eyes open. Ugh. What had happened last night? And why is his neck so stiff?

“Uncle Rafa!”

Oh. What the hell.

The high-pitched child noise necessitates him opening his eyes properly. It’s Noah alright, who had been carefully stepping towards him to set a glass of water on the table. That is, until he had seen Rafael attempt to open his eyes.

“Oh. Thank you, Noah,” Rafael murmurs, accepting the glass from Noah gratefully.

“Mommy said you were sick.”

“Uh,” he croaks, sitting up and seeing Liv out of the corner of his eye, smiling angelically and leaning against the wall. “Yes.”

“Hope you feel better. Mommy’s making bacon.”

“Fantastic,” Rafael says, leaning back against the couch and draining the glass in two gulps.

“Want more water?” Noah chirps.

“Uh, sure. Yes. Please.”

Noah returns diligently with the refilled cup, while Liv disappears to get breakfast started.

 

“Liv, what happened last night?” Rafael asks as he sits at the counter.

“You don’t remember?” Liv asks back.

“We were drinking, I remember that much.”

“That’s right.” Liv places a steaming plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. “Drinking, and talking…”

Picking up his fork and stabbing at his food, Rafael sighs dramatically. “I drank too much.”

“You think?” Liv ribs.

He finishes chewing his mouthful of bacon. “Alright, why are you grinning like that. What did I do.”

“It’s more about what you wish you could do,” Liv says, grin widening even further.

“Okay…”

“We talked about Carisi,” Liv tells him slowly.

“What about Carisi?” Rafael says, attempting to sound unaffected, but he knows he blushes just from saying his name, knows Liv can probably see.

Liv laughs heartily. “Oh. Okay. Guess we’re back to this then.”

But Rafael’s not an idiot. Well, sometimes he is. But he knows it’s probably about one particular thing that’s been on his mind for a long time.

He sighs. Might as well get this over and done with. God knows Liv’s not going to let this one go.

“Right. Guess I let that one slip, huh.”

Liv tilts her head. “Oh, so you _do_ remember?”

“Not so much. But what else could it be,” Rafael groans, resigned.

“Well, don’t be embarrassed on my account. I’m very happy you’ve decided to confide in me. Finally. After all these years,” Liv says with emphasis.

“Oh God,” Rafael exclaims in horror, “how much did I tell you?”

“Enough, Rafael. Enough.”

Rafael feels his face heat up. “Okay, so I’ve told you enough, I guess we don’t have to go over-”

“Like how his eyes _sparkle,”_ Liv interrupts, clearly not done, “And how he’s so beautiful and kind, and smart. I believe the word _perfect_ was also used.”

Rafael stops eating, his eyelids falling closed in a show of exasperation.

“And how you love him,” Liv adds quietly.

In slow motion, Rafael picks up his fork again, toying with his eggs. “In vino veritas,” he mumbles.

“In cupam veritas.” Liv smirks.

Rafael snorts, sounding almost bitter, but not quite. “Can’t believe I told you that.”

“You told me at least three times, so you’d better believe it,” Liv states, matter-of-fact.

“Ugh. I’m pathetic.” He rolls his eyes at himself, which amuses Liv to no end.

“Oh, come on, Rafa. Being in love is not pathetic. It should be celebrated,” she says, attempting to lighten the mood.

“I think we’ve both done enough celebrating for a while.”

“Yes, well, maybe you have. But I don’t mean drinking, I just- love is wonderful, okay?” she says passionately. “Being in love- that’s one of the best feelings in the world. Savor it.”

“Why do I feel like that’s an order?” Rafael comments flatly.

“It’s not. Just some well-meaning advice from a friend.”

“Fine,” Rafael allows. “This won’t end well.”

“Ah. First a mind reader, now a fortune teller. Thought you didn’t believe in any of that nonsense.”

Rafael narrows his eyes at her. “I don’t.”

“So none of this ‘Sonny doesn’t love me’ or ‘This won’t end well’ business,” Liv says emphatically.

Rafael raises his eyebrows. “I called him Sonny? God, why am I even surprised at this point?”

“I think you’ll find life is full of surprises, Rafa.”

* * *

After breakfast, Liv kindly suggests Rafael take a nap in her room while she takes Noah to the park.

She helps Noah down the slide a few times before he runs to the swings. She pushes him again and again, the sound of his laughter the catalyst for her own.

As they walk back, she chatters to Noah, answering his questions about the breeds of the dogs they walk past. In between, her mind drifts to Rafael and his little predicament.

Rafael had been so reluctant to give it a chance. She thinks he may need a little push. The gears in her head start turning.

When they get back, Noah immediately plops down in front of his blocks.

Smiling, she sits down on the couch and picks up her phone, dialing a number she’s sure will help her out.

 

“Hey Carisi,” Liv greets playfully.

“Lieu. What’s up? Do you need me to come in?”

“No, it’s not work,” Liv tells him carefully. “I was uh, actually wondering if you’re free anytime today? Now preferably?”

“Well I, I’m just finishing up at my sister’s so I am now, yeah. Why?”

“I gotta, uh. Take Noah to the dentist. Could you babysit? If you don’t mind?”

“Sure.” Carisi’s immediate response has Liv smiling. “Hold up. Why do you need a babysitter if you’re taking him to the dentist?”

“Oh, it’s not Noah who needs looking after,” Liv says innocently. “It’s Rafael.”

The line goes dead and she wonders if it got cut.

“Carisi? You there?”

“Um.” His voice sounds small. “Rafael? Is he sick?”

“More like massively hungover?” she relays with glee.

“Uh huh. Uh huh.”

“So… if you don’t mind, could you come over and keep an eye on him?”

“What- I-”

“You’d be doing me a huge favor,” Liv says, speaking over him, her voice dripping with honey. “I mean, I know, he’s a grown adult with a headache. But I’d feel much better if I didn’t have to leave him alone.”

“Wh- Sure, Lieu. He’s- He’s at your place?”

“Yeah, didn’t want him to climb all those stairs that drunk, you know.”

“Uh…” Carisi pauses. He probably doesn’t know. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I can make it,” Carisi confirms, voice neutral.

“Great, thank you, Carisi. You’re a lifesaver.” She might be laying it on a little thick. Well, whatever gets the job done.

Carisi chuckles humbly. “I’ll be right over.”

* * *

The next time Rafael wakes up, it’s to the sound of the door slowly being creaked open.

“Liv?”

A pair of blue eyes blink at him through the crack of the door, wide-eyed.

 _“Carisi?_ What are you doing here?”

“Oh good, you’re up. How ya feeling?”

“Uh... I’ve been better?” He stares at Carisi, waiting for him to actually answer his question. In the meantime, Rafael just can’t help but notice how good he looks in his henley and black skinny jeans.

Carisi perhaps hadn’t heard him, because he just grins at Rafael like he’s never seen a man with a hangover before.

“Let me get you some more water,” Carisi offers, and immediately turns to fetch it, leaving Rafael with a rather pleasant view. Until Carisi turns back suddenly. Rafael can’t avert his eyes fast enough. “You need some aspirin too?”

Rafael thinks a dose of Carisi will be more than adequate. Besides, Aspirin never seems to work on him. “No, that’s okay,” he replies meekly. Carisi nods, smiling at him for a moment before walking out the door.

Rafael stares at the ceiling, rubbing his eyes. This is Liv’s doing, no doubt about it. Rafael curses his friend’s determination. He knows she’s trying to help, and he loves her for it, but Carisi?

Seeing him like this? Not exactly the best plan if he’s not completely giving up on the possibility of Carisi returning his feelings.

 _But,_ he supposes, _being alone with Carisi on a Saturday isn’t the worst thing Liv’s ever done to him._

Carisi pokes his head back in, a bottle of water in hand and a packet of what looks like candy.

“Only me,” he grins. He sets the water bottle on Liv’s side table, then the plastic packet. “I, uh. Got you some ginger drops, you know. In case you felt... nauseous.”

“Thank you, Carisi. I’m touched.”

Carisi nods, smiling politely.

“Please... sit...” Rafael says lamely.

“Uh. Thanks.” Carisi sits gingerly on the edge of the bed, and Rafael’s heart races from Carisi being so close, _almost_ touching him.

He has to stop himself from shaking his head at himself.

“So... not that I don’t appreciate it, but what are you doing here?”

Carisi blanches. “Um. I. Liv asked me to come over, you know. Keep an eye on you,” Carisi explains, avoiding eye contact. “She’s worried about you, I think.”

“Ha.” Rafael didn’t mean to make that noise, but it’s out there.

“Okay...” Carisi nods slowly without comprehending.

“I mean, thank you for coming, Carisi. You know you don’t have to follow your boss’s orders when they’re not work related.”

“I know.” Carisi shrugs. “It wasn’t an order. It was a request.”

“Huh.”

“It’s sweet that she didn’t want to leave you alone,” Carisi comments quietly.

“As if it would be anything new,” Rafael says, sounding far too bitter for his own taste.

“She leave you alone a lot then?” Carisi asks curiously, looking like he regrets the question the moment he says it.

Rafael narrows his eyes, long enough for Carisi’s to widen in embarrassment.

“Oh, I- I’m sorry. That was- I shouldn’t’ve-”

“No, please elaborate.”

“You and the Lieu - It’s not my business. I’m sorry.”

“Me and- Carisi, what the fuck?”

“Kinda thought the two of you were involved, y’know.”

“Huh? God, no,” Rafael says, bewildered.

“I mean, you are kind of in her bed.”

“You- what- No.”

“It’s an irrefutable fact, actually, Counselor.”

“I mean, yes, but we were never in it together.”

“Oh,” Carisi answers, looking a touch surprised. “Not that I’d expect either of you to tell me these things, but-”

“I slept on the couch.”

“Oh,” Carisi repeats. “Uh huh.”

“In fact, if I’m not mistaken, it seems we’re actually in Liv’s bed together?”

Carisi laughs nervously. “You’re funny, Counselor.”

“Am I wrong?”

“You’re not wrong.”

“So…”

“So?”

“You wanna take a nap?”

Carisi looks set to laugh again before he sees the hopeful look on Rafael’s face. “Oh. Uh. I, uh. Sure, I had an early morning, you don’t- you don’t think Liv will mind?”

“Uh. I haven’t showered, I think she’d object more to me than to you.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, if you’re sure…”

“I mean, sorry I haven’t showered-” Rafael starts, suddenly embarrassed.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Mmmkay.” Rafael shifts to make more room. “Here,” he says, pulling the covers down and over Carisi.

“Thanks.”

Rafael hums happily as Carisi settles into the bed. He turns his head to the side, his gaze wide-eyed as he takes in the unfamiliar angle. 

And Carisi’s smiling at him softly.

“Close your eyes, Rafael.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“You’re worse than Noah, aren’t you?”

“You calling me a child, _Sonny?”_

Carisi lights up when Rafael calls him that, and Rafael swears his insides melt, and he thinks he has to maybe start calling him that outside of the context of a joke. “Well, Liv did kinda get me over here to babysit you.”

Rafael scoffs, acting offended.

“Don’t be offended. I would’ve come no matter what the reason.”

God, Rafael knows he won’t be able to sleep now. “Loyal, aren’t you?”

“Only to those who deserve it.”

"I want to," Rafael mutters.

"Hm?"

Smiling lightly, Rafael doesn’t answer, letting his eyelids fall closed.

 

He’s not sleeping, really. He’s done enough of that, he thinks. And even if he wanted to he couldn’t. Not when he can _feel_ Carisi’s body heat despite the fact that they’re not even touching.

He opens his eyes to check he’s not dreaming.

Carisi’s still there.

He’s surprised Carisi agreed to this, and he’s surprised he dared to suggest it. But he’s hungover, and Carisi’s gentle breathing, his serene, unguarded features, are making him feel better. Happy.

Okay, so maybe he’s let his crush get out of hand. Still, Carisi had agreed. Probably out of pity.

He watches Carisi for ages, mentally berating himself for being a lovesick creep.

But how can he not love him? Just being around Carisi makes him so happy, his heart pumping excitement through his veins. It feels like everything. Never has he met someone so insanely special, so beautiful inside and out. And so right for him, Rafael thinks.

Carisi’s face, Carisi’s lips, are closer than they’ve ever been. They’re slightly parted, looking so full and soft.

Rafael has thought about what it would be like to kiss him.

Quite a bit.

Daily.

If he were to nudge his head a bit closer, he’s sure he would feel the steady puff of Carisi’s breath against his skin. His skin tingles at the thought, and he finally closes his eyes again, already feeling the warmth of phantom breaths on his cheek.

Again.

Again.

Wait.

He opens his eyes slowly.

Not phantom. Real. Carisi’s inched closer in his sleep. He’s so close now, Rafael can see each individual eyelash as it fans out perfectly across his cheeks.

His stomach does a funny little flip as Carisi makes the tiniest noise in his sleep, sounding content. He’s… _so_ cute. Rafael wonders what it would be like to wake up next to him, every day. He’d probably have to pinch himself each time.

Somehow, he eventually drifts off.

 

When he wakes up, he feels something slip out of his hand.

Something warm.

He feels the bed shift and turns to face the movement.

Carisi.

Had that been Carisi’s hand, in his?

Rafael calls out to him, but all that spills from his lips is a murmur.

Carisi smiles. “Go back to sleep,” he says softly.

“No,” Rafael refuses. “Stay.”

“I want to,” Carisi whispers, barely audible. He pauses before continuing louder. “You should rest a little more. I’m going to see if I can get you something to eat, okay?”

Rafael nods, resting his eyes but wide awake, wanting Carisi back beside him.

* * *

“Ah. Carisi.” Liv appears amused and not at all surprised or offended to see him exit her bedroom.

“Um. Yeah,” Sonny says sheepishly. “You’re back.”

Liv flicks her eyes up to Sonny’s hair, but says nothing.

“I was just- I was just checking on Rafael,” Sonny says.

“Of course.”

“Um. So it’s lunch time soon and I was thinking I could make something? Or we could get some food delivered…”

“Yeah, actually, there’s not much in the way of food here at the moment,” Liv informs him unhelpfully.

“Uh, okay. Order in?”

“Actually... there’s a really nice place just around the corner which I think Rafael likes,” Liv hints heavily.

“Okay,” Sonny accepts readily. “So you and Noah joining?”

“Ah, no. Noah can’t eat for a couple more hours. Besides, he’s too young to appreciate that sort of thing, really.”

Sonny nods slowly, unsure. “How about you?”

“Oh, I grabbed something before we came in so I’m not hungry yet. I’ll just get something later.”

“Oh. Okay.” Sonny looks back to Liv’s bedroom door. “You think he’s up for it?”

Liv waves a hand dismissively. “Oh, come on. It’s just a hangover. He’s had plenty of time. If you ask me, I’d say he’s milking it, just a little,” she says with a twinkle in her eye.

“Um... why?” Sonny asks, but he doesn’t get an answer because Liv’s bedroom door is being pulled open inch by inch, revealing a ragged but perfectly recovered-looking Rafael.

“What are we talking about?” Rafael asks breezily, joining them.

Liv and Rafael look at each other for a moment before Liv speaks, looking back at Sonny. “Just... lunch.”

“Yeah,” Sonny adds. “You okay to go out?”

“Uh... sure…”

“Great,” Sonny says with a nervous smile. “Uh, come have lunch with me?”

Rafael glances to Liv. “Um. Okay?”

“Noah and I aren’t coming,” Liv interjects.

“Is that so,” Rafael says, expression neutral.

Sonny watches them. “Um. Liv suggested that place around the corner. Or, you know, we could just order in. Or I could... leave…” he says awkwardly, briefly wondering if he’s overstayed his welcome.

“No,” both Liv and Rafael say at the same time, and Liv actually reaches out to clutch gently at his arm. She gives Rafael another look.

Rafael clears his throat. “Don’t go. That is, I want to go.”

"Yeah?" Sonny asks lightly.

“Yeah. I feel a lot better now.”

“Okay.” Sonny beams. “I’m just going to use the bathroom before we leave then."

He smiles to himself as he walks away, consumed by the thought of sharing a meal with Rafael, just the two of them.

* * *

Liv turns to Rafael, ready to strike.

“That’s gotta be a first.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I,” Rafael sighs, exasperated.

Liv ignores Rafael’s comment completely. “So what was it, ’Do you want to take a nap? With me? In your boss’s bed?’”

“Liv, I’m sorry. I… I honestly thought I might have been dreaming, it was just- a nice thought? And I…?”

“Oh, I’m not mad,” Liv interrupts, a slightly crazed look in her eye. “This is possibly the best thing I’ve witnessed all year.”

And sure enough, Liv has a stupid grin plastered across her face.

Rafael shoots her a soft glare. “Nothing actually happened,” he’s quick to clarify.

“Oh you had better hope it didn’t,” Liv says in mock-sternness, though the return of her blinding grin gives her away completely. “I wouldn’t have been mad about kissing. Nothing further.”

“Hmm, well, then I’m glad you’re definitely not mad,” Rafael says coyly, jumping at the chance to rile her up for a change.

 _“Rafael,”_ Liv gasps, her eyes bugging out.

Rafael raises an eyebrow.

“Tell me everything,” she urges.

Sagging slightly, Rafael lets up. “I’m kidding. Nothing happened. Really.”

Liv looks disappointed for a moment before speaking again matter-of-factly. “Except…”

“Except what?” Rafael asks dully.

“He likes you,” Liv says with surety.

Rafael huffs. “Right…” he says, drawing out the word.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Liv tells him. “You don’t have to take my word for it. You’ll see.”

Rafael gives her a hopeless half-smile. “It’s not that I don’t want you to be right, it’s just… you’re probably not.”

“Nah.” Carisi’s voice appears behind them, making Rafael jump, while Liv just smiles smugly. “I think you’ll find the Lieu is always right.”

As Liv looks impossibly smugger, Rafael flushes, unsure of the implication. How much had Carisi heard?

“No one’s always right,” Rafael says defensively.

“I guess.” Carisi shrugs.

“But I think you’ll find I am, in this instance,” Liv continues stubbornly.

Rafael and Liv have another stare-off before Carisi chuckles awkwardly. “Anyway,” he says. “If you’re well enough to talk shop, I’d say you’re ready to leave for lunch?” He beams at Rafael.

He hadn’t heard. Rafael tries not to let his relief show on his face. He channels it into returning Carisi’s smile instead. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

“Okay,” Carisi says lightly. “See ya, Lieu.”

“Have fun,” Liv says wickedly. “Thanks for the favor, Carisi.”

Carisi laughs, sounding embarrassed. “Ah, it’s nothing. Really.”

Rafael narrows his eyes at Liv before walking to the door. “Thanks for putting me up,” he calls over his shoulder.

“Thanks for the entertainment,” Liv calls back.

Rafael rolls his eyes, opening the door and holding it open for Carisi.

They get in the elevator, quiet for a moment, and Rafael can’t help stealing a glance or two, glad to be alone with him.

“How much did you drink last night?” Carisi says conversationally.

“Too much,” Rafael answers, jabbing the button. “Way too much.”

“Any particular reason?”

“No,” Rafael says quickly. “Things just got out of hand.”

“Ah.” Carisi hesitates before speaking again. “It’s just, that’s happened to me a few times and after college it’s only been when I’m sad, or- or lonely.”

Rafael gulps. “I wasn’t alone,” he says, knowing full well loneliness and being alone aren’t the same thing.

“Yeah,” Carisi says softly. “You had Liv.”

The doors open as they reach the ground floor.

“Admittedly not the same…” Rafael whispers as they step out.

They walk out of the building side by side. Carisi has his hands jammed in his pockets, looking deep in thought.

“You can always call me, you know,” Carisi says, exceedingly casual.

Rafael turns to him, surprised. “I can?” he asks slowly.

“Of course,” he replies easily, shrugging a shoulder. “You know I’m always happy to talk.” He smiles lightly and leads the way down the path.

Rafael scrambles to catch up. “It’s just, we’ve never really…” He nibbles on his lip. “Hung out?”

“Oh really?” Sonny raises his eyebrows. “And what are we doing now?” he sasses.

“I have no idea,” Rafael responds, dazed.

He thinks he sees a brief flash of hurt in Carisi’s eyes, but it’s gone in the time it takes him to blink.

“If you don’t want to hang out with me, it’s okay,” Carisi says evenly. “I’m just saying, I’m here.” His hands slip out of his pockets in a miniature shrugging motion.

“No.” Rafael’s feet stop of their own accord. “That’s not what I’m saying at all.”

Carisi stops a few steps ahead, looking back. “No? You don’t need to stop walking then,” he says with a cheeky smile.

If Rafael wasn’t already stationary, he would stop in his tracks at the sight of Carisi, throwing him an easy smile over his shoulder, dead-confident, the sunlight hitting him at just the right angle to turn his hair golden. It’s like something from a dream. He makes himself keep walking, thankful that Carisi doesn’t fade like a mirage.

He’s unreasonably pleased that Carisi decides to wait for him while he catches up to him. They walk on in silence, so close their shoulders would bump if Rafael weren’t so hyper-aware of his every move.  

As they reach the corner, Rafael points out the Dim Sum place Liv had suggested due to its proximity.

Once they’re sat down, they’re handed menus. Carisi simply orders spring rolls and insists Rafael order the rest.

“Liv says you like this place. I trust your judgment,” Carisi says in an easygoing manner.

“Okay,” Rafael says lightly. He orders several of his favorites and a little extra, wanting to make sure there’s enough for the two of them.

After the order is placed, a not-quite-uncomfortable silence descends upon them.

Rafael clasps his hands together, no longer having anything to do with them now that the menus have been collected.

He chances a glance to Carisi, flicking his eyes away immediately once he sees blue eyes on him, the gaze intense.

He clears his throat and pours the tea.

“So we slept together,” Carisi says unexpectedly, smirking.

Rafael feels his ears burn up, glad Carisi had waited until he had finished pouring to speak. “In your boss’s bed,” he finds himself saying.

“And I thought my wild days were over,” Carisi says with a mischievous grin.

Rafael picks up his tea cup and blows on it, taking a sip and scalding the tip of his tongue mildly anyway. When he inhales sharply and sets his cup down, Carisi flicks his eyes over, looking concerned, but doesn't say anything.

They dig in as soon as the first of the food arrives.

This time it’s Rafael who breaks the silence. “I can’t believe you thought we were together. Liv and I.”

“Well it’s not my fault you guys are like, weirdly intimate,” Carisi states.

“Weirdly intimate?” Rafael echoes incredulously.

Carisi shrugs. “Or like, way too comfortable with each other to just be friends.”

“Believe me, I’m not like that around people I have actual feelings for,” Rafael comments darkly.

Carisi leans back, raising a dignified eyebrow. “Oh?”

Rafael tries to swallow. He shouldn’t have said that. “You and Rollins seem pretty… Are _you?”_ he provokes, eyebrow raised.

Carisi gapes in horror. “Don’t tell me you think-”

Rafael tilts his head in a half-hearted shrug.

“We’re not, I swear,” Carisi denies vehemently.

Rafael preens internally. “Well you seem plenty cozy, I thought, well… if you thought Liv and I, then maybe you and Rollins…”

Carisi scoffs. “Please, Rafael. You don’t really think that.”

Rafael breaks eye contact, shoving a shu mai into his mouth.

“You thought that?” Carisi asks in shock.

Rafael chews and swallows. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I thought.”

“We’re _just_ friends. Best friends. But nothing more.”

“Okay, I believe you,” Rafael says, pretending he doesn't really care.

Carisi is quiet for a moment.

“I wouldn’t get into bed with you if I was with someone else,” Carisi teases softly.

Rafael blanches. He knows it’s just a joke, but he can’t help reading into the implication. “How long are you planning to use this as material?” he asks pointedly.

Carisi cocks a sassy eyebrow. “As long as I want, Counselor.”

He levels Carisi a fake glare.

Carisi blinks at him.

“Sorry, I-”

“I’m kidding,” Rafael says. “It’s fine, you and Liv both, I should be used to it by now.”

“No really, I’ll back off,” Carisi insists.

“I don’t want you to,” Rafael says breezily, waving a hand halfheartedly.

Carisi seems to accept this. They continue eating.

“Hey,” Carisi says quietly after a moment. “It was nice.”

Rafael glances up to him curiously, then turns away. He’d ask for clarification, but he’s too busy thinking about what Carisi _could_ mean. That sleeping toge- next to each other had been nice, hadn’t been awkward, was something he would maybe not rule out doing again?

He’s lost in thoughts of whether Carisi would prefer being the big spoon or the little spoon when the bill arrives, and Carisi hands over his credit card in a flash. Rafael doesn’t even have a chance to protest before the waiter takes it and leaves to process their check.

He frowns. “I don’t know why you’re treating me, when you’ve given up your day just for me.”

“But I asked you here,” Carisi points out, amused. “Next time it’s all yours, I promise.”

“Oh? Next time?” Rafael’s heart races at the thought.

“Uh, I mean, I just assumed this wasn’t the last meal we’ll ever happen to eat together,” Carisi says in a stilted fashion.

“I hope so.” Rafael struggles to contain his smile. “How does tomorrow at 7 sound?”

Carisi’s face positively blooms. “Sounds perfect,” he says shyly.

“Then it’s-”

“A date?”

Rafael can’t believe the hopeful look on Carisi’s face as he says that. _Settled,_ he was going to say. But... “Yes.”

And there Carisi goes, sparkling again. Rafael doesn’t just imagine these things.

“Oh.” He grins. “I can’t wait, Rafael.” Rafael echoes his grin. “Me neither.”

Carisi beams as they walk out of the restaurant.

When they reach the sidewalk, they just stand there looking at each other, both unwilling to make a move closer to or away from each other.

“I-” Carisi cuts himself off mid-sentence, seeming to consider something before placing a gentle kiss on Rafael’s cheek.

And that’s for sure pathetic, the fact that a kiss on the cheek from Carisi makes Rafael feel like his heart might stop.

He looks at Carisi with what must be hearts in his eyes. Carisi bites his lip nervously, and Rafael smiles.

He reaches up to caress Carisi’s cheek before letting his hand fall. He pulls Carisi towards him, resting his chin on Carisi’s shoulder. “Thank you for today,” he says softly.

“It’s my pleasure, Rafael.” Carisi’s voice is tender to Rafael’s ears.

Now Carisi has put his arms around him, holding him closer, Rafael takes great pleasure in feeling as well as hearing his words, and just as much pleasure in the rapid beat of Carisi’s heart against his chest.

Rafael keeps holding Carisi too, and he knows he should probably let go sometime, but he really, really doesn’t want to.

“I- I should leave, while I still have the willpower to do so.”

Carisi smiles a cute, bashful smile. “Next time?”

“Next time,” Rafael confirms with a nod. He reaches to squeeze at Carisi’s hand, something akin to a promise, before turning and walking towards his apartment block, allowing himself to break into a fully-fledged grin.

The world seems different somehow, after today.

Now that it turns out Carisi might like him after all.

Who knew?

**Author's Note:**

> Liv, that's who.
> 
> Thank you for reading! My longest fic yet, wow... Comments are definitely always appreciated <3


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